Connecting within Mommyhood : Secrets

​On a Friday afternoon I sat in the shade of a thatched umbrella in the bright sunshine beside the  highway. My baby son rested in my lap, while my husband and daughter chatted about a new game app across the table. In front of me the waitress had placed a sparkling glass of water. It was shaped like an oversized tulip balancing on a too-thin stem. Traffic rumbled past. A light breeze flirted along my arms. My family was happy and occupied, and in this moment of calm I noticed the tiny scene reflected in the bulbous bottom of the water glass. I inhaled deeply. The scent of summer (cut grass, truck fumes, sun-creamed skin, frying onions) simmered in the air. Slowly I let go of the tension generated by grocery shopping, deadlines, business management, and weekend plans, and let myself see the little captured world. I made out the slide and swings and trees. I saw the minuscule cloud puffs floating across a teaspoon of sky. I stilled my thoughts and busyness and urge to control, and allowed myself to dip in to this parallel universe of butterflies and magic things. It whispered a secret into my heart, reminding me that if I was lucky enough to have understanding alight upon my palm, to treat it with lightness and care. To slow my breath and drink in its beauty. Because in the next moment, sure as day, it would take flight, and be lost in a kaleidoscope of color and noise.

The further I walk down the sacred path of mamahood, the more I grow to understand the role I play in my family. Amongst my most important duties are that of guardian of learning and guardian of healing. My children are ideal, natural learners. They are curious, playful, and intuitive. They understand the magic of mystery. In seeking to build for them the best-feathered safest nest I possibly could, I have peered into all sorts of shadowy places. There I have found a deeply-buried creativity, one I gave away many many years ago in order to fit in. Now I am embracing the beginner’s mind, and am learning almost everything anew. Diving in to explore my own curiosity, playfulness, and intuition, I am moving past wounds long-held and well-nurtured. I am reaching for healing.

Learning is a form of healing and healing is a form of learning. Both defy linear rational frames. They fold back in on themselves and spiral back at random intervals. Learning and healing are inextricably woven strands of living. They are beautiful and chaotic. They are messy and  uncomfortable. They unfurl softly in quiet, secret places. They stretch out gently in light, open spaces. But they scare easily.

Imagine a seed, buried deep-down soil-safe. It waits dreamily through winter, while above ground all remains silent and still. When spring tickles the earth with gentle fingertips, it opens itself like magic. Still invisible, it sends exploring roots down and a brave bud up. All we see in the ordinary world is that proud green spear, tipping itself toward the brisk bright air. We trust in its growth, as unlikely as it may seem, because we have watched this same magic show play out season after season. We know to dig it out and search for proof of its existence would be to destroy the very thing we seek.

Seeds, learning, and healing happen in secret. When my son was born a few months ago, I spent three nights in hospital recovering from his birth. My healing extended long beyond this time, but those quiet nights in my cloistered hospital ward was a fairytale time. We were alone, my son and I, lying intertwined in a circle of light. The hours moved slowly by, speckled with visits from soft-voiced angels in blue, who touched us gently, and protected our space of healing and love with food, stories, medical care, and cups of tea. One of the greatest adventures of my life gestated in this safe and sacred place.

Secrets have power. Dissected under harsh conditions their magic dissipates, like spiders scuttling for cover. Dishonesty and mystery are not the same kind of secrecy. The secrets I talk of are not wrongdoings hastily concealed, or lies so long lived they have become entities that walk of their own accord. I refer rather to the miraculous unknown coursing unseen through our lives. We come into the world pure and bare, and within a matter of years, construct an understanding of the world so intricate and vast it could not be held within any container yet made by a human hand. And because they are smaller than us, dependent, and their power as yet unclaimed, children have their privacy so frequently abused it is considered normal. We ask them to stand up in front, and show us what they know, or hand out tightly-ruled pages, and demand they dance to tunes of our own devising. We must have proof, of processes as old and as magical as the universe itself. We forget that our children own their own lives, which include secrets and mysteries and delicately flowering perspectives. Grasping the rightfully shadowed and dragging it into the light is a form of thievery. To steal a secret is to steal life-force, and disrupt the sweet unfolding of truth. Ripped out, shaved bare, lined up in rows, the wholeness of truth is shattered. Hands bleeding, we can crawl along and collect the sharp-edged fragments, but the power of the picture is lost forever.

The world of magic things is calling to us. It whispers from upside-down reflections and in the shiver of the trees and the drift of the skies. We would be wise to accept our children’s mysteries, it advises. To accept our own, and in the process embrace the uncharted depths of the universe, of fate, and of destiny. Because that is where the magic lies. Buried deep down, soil-safe, in the unknown.

My children are at the heart of my healing, and my mind is occupied by writings crafted by an audience of thinkers. But in the realm of the body, it is my therapist Colleen who structures my healing. Through both energy work and hands-on massage, she delves into realms unseen, and weaves her own kind of magic. She treats my bones and muscles and memories and spirit with every tool at her disposal: touch, sound, crystals, essential oils, stones, heat, amulets, and laughter. She respects the secrets and pays homage to the sacred. To book a session with Colleen or arrange distance healing call her on 084 603 0604.


Empath: Dear Mother


Dear Mothers,

You know who you are. You are the One’s, who care, worry, plan, pack toys, endlessly carrying baby on your hips, and getting “shoulder knots”, which I call child shoulder, child hip. (come see me…)

For the long hours spent, feeding, cleaning, clothing, burbing, and then cleaning some more.

For the days, you long for a never ending shower.

For the days, of self sacrifice, and the endless GIVING.

Lets face it, You are a GODDESS, you run a home, you raising your kids, and you have a job, and your a partner.

You are exhausted, but the needs, never stop!

Take a moment!  Appreciate, how you have grown. Appreciate, you have needs.

The needs for sleep . . . .

The need to a kiss and cuddle. . . .

The need for amazing Sex. . .

The need for a massage / reiki session  . . .

The need for your own Sanity, of completing a thought.

Being the Goddess, you are, you make it look easy. . . . . So, schedule a afternoon NAP.

Read a book.

Meet a friend.

Laugh. Let go. Drink the wine. Do the Yoga. PLAY.

Watch a Movie. Rest.  You are the boss.

Become your best friend, because, you are AMAZING!

Dress Up!  Adorn your body.

You are Valued and Loved!

Why? Because, you are changing the world, by Nurturing, your child unconditionally!

You are making a Difference!

Hats off to Mom’s!  and a Dad’s  🙂

Well done, You are changing this world, with love.

Empath : Healing the Birthing Trauma (Mom)

Our bodies, is this amazing vessel of light, it absorbs love, in the form of reiki or whatever healing module works for you.

This morning, I treated a MOM, who has carried the Birthing Trauma of her son, with her, for 8 years!

Each year, she gets anxious, depressed, stressed out, about his Birthday, reliving and remembering, the Trauma.

Today, with REIKI, I removed the experience and asked her body, to heal itself.!

Blockages, hinders our flow of Natural energy, called CHI.

When we are flowing with Energy, Connected to Divine Synchronicity, Oneness, anything is Possible, to Create.

Stay Balanced! Keep focused.




Empath : Body Bliss and Love


Anything, you do not understand is a Miracle!

Everything is sacred!  or NONSENSE!

Sometimes I forget, there is a moment, where I can see my beauty. The perfection, of my body, the shinning of my Spirit. The shape of my mouth, the ever changing colour of my eyes, the shape of my hands and feet, perfect.  There is beauty in our bodies, some fail to see it, some choose to criticise it, dice it, slice it, which only feeds the body shaming, and no one needs that. 

We need love! love in the curves, we do not like. Love into the stretch marks, love into the aspects of ourselves, we do not enjoy, why? because life is not a magazine, there is no Camera, No lighting, No make up artist, to make it FAKE perfection, or Fake a Pose. Life is real.

It holds both the thin or the fat, which are just opposites, like good or bad!  We have lived our lives by the words of imperfection, opinions of the broken, images of the fake, feeding an industry of Woman are Inadequate, our bodies, are incorrect.

How untrue is this!   What a crop of shit!

Your Body is Beautiful!

You are Unique!

You are loved!

You are Healthy!

You hold such magic!

Love holds the key, to every aspect of your Life.

Live and Be free, as you are!


xxxxxxxx Colleen! Starting a Body Rebellion! x x x x x x x x


Empath : Trust your Intuition / Gut feeling

Trust your Intuition?  it is a feeling in your GUT!!!

Many people feel the need to negotiate with their intuition, debate, analyse it, and in that moment, it is gone! the GUT feeling. The more you do not listen, the less your intuition, shows up!


Your intuition is your RADAR! your helper, obviously, if you want to TALK it to Death, letting Your Head / EGO reign, then do, you are then living a 5th sensory life!


IF however, you want to LIVE A 6TH SENSORY life, filled with your Intuition, Creating your Universe, start listening and take Action.

The more you listen, the more guidance, you receive.

Psychic dreams.

Messages in the world.

Amazing experiences. 

Flow of DIVINE synchronicity.

Living from the Heart and not Head! 

You decide.

Empath : Naiive Narative (Empath and the Narcissist. . . )



I want to believe that all people are good, and no bad thing exist, however, the scars that have healed within, tell a different story. Every scar holds a deep lesson, a lesson of transforming the pain, into Love. Of growing from a naiive innocent into a adulthood.

I always wanted to be grown up! I had grownups for company, I spoke like a mature adult, however, the wisdom of adulthood only came later.   As a child, we innocently, believe in the good of others, that no one would harm a child intentionally, or take advantage of a adult, however, in reality, many empaths, have literally had the life sucked out of them. 

Empaths  Give  – Give of themselves, their energy, their time, yet to the untrained eye, we fail to see the complete picture, the rose tinted glasses of “denial” or “inlove” or “the lies”, we fail to see, we want to believe in the good, but the realities of Life, are that people lie.

I do not write this to deter your good intention, I write, because, you need to open your Awareness, to look for what you failing to see, so you can Protect you. Keep you safe, from disappointment, from being heart broken, from being emotionally wounded, by those, who do not deserve your loyalty or your friendship or your time.

Yes, I have been fooled. Yes, I have been hurt. Yes, I have learnt, so I will share my lessons with you.

Listen – Listen with your entire being, feel, observe, wait, ask your Higher self.

Be a clean vessel  – Let go of the toxins, you fill your body with, become clear.

Observe – body language, breathe, hand movements, eye contact, and read thoughts.

Dodge – You do not need to fix their suffering.

Choose – Wisely who you will help, and who you will not.

Be frank – Block. Delete. Say F#ck off! and repeat, if you need to.

Close the janitor shop! – Your body is your vessel of light – treat it with love, not other peoples trash.

Awareness – Awareness is everything. For a untrained normal person, you are unable to identify real mental health issues like Ptsd, Anxiety, depression, Ocd, Eating disorders, addiction – drugs, alcohol, etc. If you as this person, are trying to FIX THIS, you are just enabling this person, by becoming their Battery source, so please refer them to a professional therapist.  Being a good Samaritan, is NOT enough, when one has serious issues.

Admit – Your limitations, Surrender.

You are amazing!  Never, let anyone, make you feel inadequate, ever.

Walking, this path of being a empath, empowers you!  you are beginning to Rise Up!

Stand firm!


Empath : Growing from Childhood to Maturity


I want to say, growing is easy, change is easy, discreating patterns are easy, alas, they are not. My journey to a far away land, has taught me lessons on every level, I have had to re evaluate myself and clear out, what no longer serves me. 

What no longer serves me? The friends, I carried emotionally, for over 10 years, hoping, giving, nurturing, loving, only to realize, that they were not real friends, as it was based on a fake friendship. I in the hope of receiving acceptance and love, fulfilled a need to be their Janitor of mopping up their drama, chaos, and sending reiki energy, giving me purpose, but filling me with a  used feeling, this is not Love or friendship, it is a Dependent relationship, and which will end, badly.

Next, where did this need come from, to romanticise peoples bad behaviour, to continue to make excuses for people with actual mental health conditions, things that pop up, like =  Shes in a bad mood / Having a tough day / etc. When you are a whole adult, you possess the tools to resolve your OWN shit. You do not, offload on a friend, who will have no clue about your mental condition, and that you actually need professional help.

There are empaths, who give bottomless and selflessly to the depths of depletion, why? for love. for acceptance, they see NEED as Love.  If they are needed, it is Love, why? because they carried their mother for years, because they lack the attachment connection, and see dependecy, as a connection.

The romantic notion has been influenced by religion, focusing on a rose tinted glasses, to overlook the bad stuff, lets stay in a space of denial. Denial in itself is a block, no energy, no growth, no truth, can flow from a space of Denial.

How to embrace this?

Speak your truth. Be honest with yourself and your feelings.  Dig deep and confront your Inner child/ teenager, receiving healing with reiki  for yourself.

Stop! the denial.  Use words like Fu##! Mother F#####! Ass#ole@  Narcissistic Bastard!

Do get it out and stop trying to justify someone elses bad behaviour.

Realize you cannot fix anyone, You cannot change anyone, either.

Change / Growth is a decision, we consciously make and then we embrace the consequences thereof.

Welcome to Maturity of Adulthood!

You have a job, you get paid money for it, you pay bills but have the least amount of free time ever,

this is the biggest Hoax of the 21st century.

Did I forget to mention, debt, the art of signing away your money, from the future, therefore enslaving your time, to worry, stress, fret, and be anxious 24/7, because it is a form of Control!

What will you do to be free of this hoax! of failed security?

Quit your job?

Live a Miserable life?

Or Start living a 6th Sensory life, led by Your intuition, your rules, your creation!

You decide.




Empath : Roaring Teenager


Becoming a woman, is a burden. They share the horrors of menstruation, leaking sanitary pads, tampons are forbidden, like it is some type of evil. They hate being females, they enjoy the dress up of being females, but are highly critical of their appearance, as if that is all that matters.  Sex is forbidden, like its a disease, that corrupts your life, yet, everyone is popping out babies each year.

I am a tomboy, I enjoy fixing things, it is difficult with my body changing, it feels strange to have hormones influencing me, I am moody, I am grumpy, I am horny for no reason. Boys appeal to me, like toffee apples on a stick.

Are his lips soft? Will he be my first kiss? Does he taste good? Will his kiss, make my knees wobble?

I know I am different, my body developed slower. At 12 years old, my sister got her periods, at 16 I was as flat as a surfboard, with no boobs, at 17, I became a woman. I wished for perky boobs, I begged,  I prayed and I got perky peaches, that bounce, they have their own direction. I wish I could control them.  Wearing a bra is uncomfortable, its like being strapped in.

So, far being a adolescent sucks. Periods. Boys. Grumpyness. Hornyness.

The risk of pregnancy, std’s, Aids and worse, having a kid.

In our family, having a kid is considered a burden, no one mentions the pleasure of being a woman or a Goddess, it is just pain and suffering.  In that moment, I decide to be masculine, being female, is just a pain in the ass.

My body develops like a pear, it is criticised, shamed, I am an unnatural shape. I have outgrown all my clothing and shoes. I try to blend in, I dodge bullies and use my intuition and telepathy to run away.

This story highlights a lack of acceptance of Female self, our parents/ teacher/ siblings were not conditioned to explain the nature of a growing teenager body, the emotional upheaval and the spiritual significance of becoming a woman.

Issues that would arise :

Subdued female self, afraid to be a woman, always the Head of the family, needs to be in control.

Yet  = Wants to be treated like a woman.

Logically trying to deal with all kinds of challenges, instead of Intuitively, using empathic gift.

Lack of self acceptance.

Lack of body positivity.

Lack of self Love.

How to Heal from this ? 

Regular sessions of Reiki/ Counselling / Massage to balance Yin and Yang, and soothing the inner Adolescent self, to flourish without fear / conditioning of the past.

Start with a daily practise of Yoga  – Balance the body.

Meditation  – Psychic flow of Spirit.

Wear colourful clothes and underwear.

Have a Manicure.

Have your Hairstyle changed.

Journal – Your thoughts and feelings.

Learn to Speak from the Heart.

Surrender and Accept who you are.

Rest / Nurture / Be present.


Empath: P l e a s u r e


When we are hooked onto PAIN/ SUFFERING/ Carrying others, our Masculine side takes over and we are in “fixing” mode, we forget to Play, to have a light heart, to have fun, to live from the heart with Love and forgiveness.

Often, the word pleasure is frowned upon, life is filled with suffering, but you do not have to suffer.

Everyday, look for the Pleasures of Life.

What is your Pleasure pot?

Mind blowing orgasms. Good after glow. A friendly smile. making someone laugh. Paying for a strangers groceries. Eating chocolate. drinking cold juice from the box. picking raspberries. the sound of a fire. cuddling. sleeping in. reading a good book. the smell of a freshly cut lawn. seeing new seedlings grow. hanging with friends. sharing of stories. connection of being human. hugs. drinking smoothies. green juices. wearing make up. a new hairstyle. giving clothes away. the smell of incense. a foot rub. going to bed early. the p r r r r r of my cats cuddling me. music. walking. yoga. meditation. reiki. the feel of nakedness. being free to be you. holding a baby. the smell of your partner. new shoes. weights. a cup of tea. eating pudding. fish and chips. journalling. having a quickie. fast wifi. movies. series. intuitive premonitions. the sound of a roaring engine. boots. the smell of leather. the sound of the wind. geese crossing the road. green rolling hills. the smell of flowers. taste. touch. see. smell. just imagination.



Remember, What you feed most, will grow? Pain ? Pleasure? Suffering?

Empath : Childhood : The beginning of carrying others



Everyday, my disappointment grows. I wait all day to see her, to have a percentage of love and affection, to be cared for, to be given attention, to have my need for her fulfilled, but everyday, my needs become a burden, to her. She is far to busy with her own life –  work, come home, go out, hunt for her love /sexual satisfaction or soul mate. She resents having kids, we are disconnected from her, she has meltdowns, she feels sorry for herself, and her personal need for misery is far greater, than my needs as a child. So, in an attempt to get any attention, I make myself available, as her counsellor, to listen to her wows. I start to carry her emotionally, because, I need love and attention, and even negative attention, soothes the need within.  I learn to live off her pain – depression, fear, anger, anxiety, love is never present. 

This hole is never fulfilled, she never acts like a parent, I see the difference, in other kids and I know, she is a bad parent, a victim. She is self absorbed, everyday is something different. She gives me so many chores, take care of your sister, do this, do that. I start to wonder, am I the parent? what about my needs? Do I matter?

I try to avoid her, I escape to my Grandmother and Grandfather, Aunts and Uncles, I start acquiring skills to do chores, so they will need me, to babysit, to clean, to help, to be wanted.

I subdue being a little girl, because feeling hurt, feeling is hard, when you have an absent mother, with no connection. I subdue any need for her love or attention, because she continues to disappoint me, on every level.

A story about a disconnected mother raising her child with no love. Empath children are clever, they mould themselves, to suit their mother, they subdue their own needs as a child, if the mother suffers, with any mental health issues like : depression, ptsd, anxiety, anger outboosts, intense fear. The empath child, starts to carry the Mother, feeling it is the only way to survive, to be needed, but not loved. 

Psychological impact on the child :

Lack of Attachment  – Finds it difficult to trust others, as he/she could never trust the Mom. 

Love  – Always seeking, love, acceptance  – Willing to carry others, to fill the need for Love.

Broken – Attracts broken people, so the NEED – is fulfilled.

Speak – Afraid to speak the truth.  = Issues with Throat chakra.

Needs – Finds it difficult to express, what he or she needs. Will wait until pain or extreme illness arrives, before, asking for help.

Mental health – Stagnated emotional and psychological growth, once addressed, growth is ignited.

Female self – sees being female as a weakness, steps easily into masculine side, the fixer, the helper, instead of addressing own issues.

Denial – Lives in a state of Denial, not wanting to address issues, that hurt.

How to Heal these issues that arise : 

Every 2 weeks a session of Reiki, Massage, Counselling to discern the different issues and start to heal within.

Adding Yoga, meditation and self awareness journalling to embrace the emotions that will be released.

A diet of juicing/ smoothies/ healthy balanced meals, every 2 hours.

Rest – Take lots of naps.

Read and discover how to self love and find your path to healing.

Commit to this healing journey, for yourself.

Empath: Self Care = Self Love: Reiki, Massage, Yoga, Crystals, Learning

you are an empath, which means, you naturally absorb others PAIN, and you need self love and self care, so lets begin.

I have trained in at least 7 different massage techniques, starting with Swedish, Sport, Hawaiian lomi lomi, Ayurveda, Pregnancy, Polynesian and Kahuna Massage, touch holds the magic of LOVE, Nurturing and care. If you have never been for a massage, book one for yourself, I highly recommend it, I suggest a Repair massage,:-) then at least 10 Kahuna massages! it will change your world.


The magic of REIKI, is magical, I just gave myself a session with crystals, and it was awesome.  Yes, I practise Reiki and have been doing Reiki for  over 10 years, I am a Reiki master and I do teach and offer session. Book one for yourself, feel lighter, at peace and at ONE with life.


Meditation is the fluid with which you create your Universe, what you think, feel, speak, creates your world, so tune into you and affirm you! 

I am a Novice Yogi, I have been practising for 10 years. Yoga is part of my daily routine, it is a prerequisite when you become a Healer/ massage therapist, you need to move your body, breathe CHI and be focused. Yoga will teach you to love your body.


I have my own collection of crystals for my healing, start collecting yours, so you can take a nap with them, and feel revived and rebooted.  You are your own healer, so listen to your needs. 

Start your Self care / Self Love journey! it changes everything, your body, your mind, your spirit.


Colleen x x x x

Empath: Detoxing from toxic friendship and closing the energy portal

After my India journey, I needed time to do self reflection, to truly assess the people that I attracted into my life. The people, I chose to carry, the friends, I have spent years, being emotionally, and reiki available for and responsible for. It was hard, but I had to go into the pain and into the Inner child, of wanting to save, help, nurture others, when all they do is vomit their toxic energy, being unable to see, how their addictive behaviour patterns, affects my energy field and sleeping pattern.

I actually sat with myself and started to identify, what this really is, ATTACHMENT, in an attempt to SAVE them, as a martyr, to help them, become WHOLE human beings, filled with LOVE and LIGHT, allowing them to sap my life force, I sacrificed over 10 years of friendship, thinking they lived by the same CODE of mine.

Sacred Friendship, I live by this code of love, loyality and bottomless reiki and Colleen support, I am always their for them, I have lived by this code, thinking I was doing something good for man kind, when in fact, I was doing harm to myself, by carrying someone, who smokes, who drinks, who ingest meat, who has suicidal tendencies, and addicted to bad relationships, you can see the pattern here.

I naiively wanted to help, however, my ex friend in India pointed out to me, when did I ask for your help? as a Empath, we feel their need for HELP, it is not really spoken, and we will do what it takes to help them, get better, we will give until drained, we will want to fix it, but NOT everyone is on a spiritual path, not everyone has self love, not everyone drinks clean water, or eats healthily, some people actually choose a toxic life, including a toxic partner.

This is the death of any empath, a cycle of bottomless giving, watching how a friend is poisoned either by their partner, or self sebotage behaviour.

To actually be present when someone has mental health issues like anxiety, depression, emotional melt downs, the effects of this is we begin to subdue our needs and go into Crisis mode, we put out all the necessary fires daily, stepping into a space of Self neglect. We forget our needs and go into a Masculine survival mode which is imbalanced, we sleep less, we breathe shallowly and we are not ourselves, we forget to love, we forget to have joy, we forget to enjoy the present life, we have, appreciating the good.

So, I reiki d myself daily, I did yoga, I detoxed, I analysed, I pumped weights, I did some self talk and I cried, I never want others to suffer, but I no longer seek to save anyone from themselves. I used my reiki and a wonderful person, offered to do a ceremony to close these energy portals and it is done.

I am sharing my learning, as a empath, as a healer and a teacher, you need to be aware of toxic friendships, as these friendships, leave you feeling drained, anxious and not quite you.

Here are some of the SIGNS to Look out for :

  1. Regular drama / choatic filled calls.
  2. Their inability to take responsibility and also failure to listen to warnings of toxic partners.
  3. Addictions : physical and mental capacity – “being the victim” Lack of owning their shit.
  4. Narcisstic behaviour –  they are always the victim.
  5. Choosing to make bad choices, all the time, being hooked on misery, year after year.
  6. Lack of self love – refusing to take care of their physical, emotional, mental and sexual needs.
  7. Stop being available for these “free” sessions, UNHOOK their hooks of seeking attention.
  8. Suicidal / self destructive tendencies : Cutting, Accidents, always in the shit.
  9. Complaining about LACK of finances, but lacks discipline over all.
  10. Being lazy – No yoga, no exercise, constant body shaming of self.
  11. Mental health issues – child attachment issues, cannot forgive or let go, anxiety, depression, denial, will not address any issue.
  12. Close / Let go of this friendship, it is NOT worth your Inner peace.

If you have a friendship, like this, it is time to reassess your intention and motive, as a human being.

Time to go for a Reiki session and remove this person from your Aura and become you again.

Remember, to forgive yourself, it is not a mistake, if You choose to learn from it.


Reiki Baby no#23 Born on 4th Jan 2018 in London, Uk


With my impending India trip, travelling to Durban twice, to obtain a visa, organising things at home.

Having babies being born and preparing for this magic, no my plate was not full! ( ha a a a a a a a a )

I met A##### F, via Lulu a brilliant physiotherapist in London, who has now shifted back to South Africa.

(I will be meeting her, tomorrow.)

A#### F…. and I instantly clicked, we did a few reiki distance healing sessions and her journey just started.

She did more yoga, kept balanced and enjoyed her new balanced self.

We by accident discussed having baby no# 2 and I said, cool, I can help with that.

A week later, she had conceived baby no #2, but we both felt some magic, we could not grasp, had taken over.

We both felt 2 very Strong Spirits, twin babies had begin to form. We could feel this spirit had a plan, beyond what we expected.

By 3 months, she went for a scan, and the Stronger twin, had absorbed the weaker one, it is called foetal reabsorption.

Both in awe of this magic, we did regular reiki topup sessions, and a family balancing session/ protection, until dear P…….. was born, on the 4th January 2018.

P………. was quite comfortable waiting… not to be uprooted from her womb, as we did a Birthing preparation which means sending reiki healing to the Dad, mom, new baby, current child, and her mom, so the process and transition, will flow smoothly.

We both waited for P……. to arrive naturally, the contractions came, we waited, and waited, finely A##### decided to go to hospital, where a C section was completed. Baby P…. happily joined us on 4th January 2018.

She is a special little one.  We did a video call the other day, she is strong, fiesty, and definitely a Reiki baby, filled with magic!

I am in awe, of this reiki magic and so grateful, I have these amazing experiences.

Next baby due in 6 weeks time, this baby is already doing Reiki in the womb.

##### Names left out for safety sake.

Empath: Listening to Your Needs vs Their Needs

It is  time for some self care, me time. I would be the first to share this with others, as a empath, we sometimes forget to listen to what our needs are, we take care of “others” needs. We tame the chaos, we put out fires. We keep the balance.  Listening to their body language, hearing their inner voice, and being present and aware, of what they need.

We get into a pattern, of catering for others needs, forgetting that we have needs also, as human beings.

So, I have dedicated this month of February, to Colleen self Love and Growth! 

Healthcare :

I have visited 2 doctors, this month. An Ayurvedic doctor, who bounced in his chair, taking my pulse, giving me fear based advice and a normal South african Doctor Naidoo, who looks me in the eye, confirms my own diagnoses, and then debates with me, about what medicine, he will give me, with a smile. Dr Naidoo, knows me well, he gives me the correct medicine, sorts me out and he knows, I will do my best, to stay healthy, and that he is my last resort, if I cannot fix myself.


Dentistry  : Dr Perumal, his a cool dentist, he chats to me for at least 15 minutes, before even looking at my teeth. We talk about travelling India, about his experience and mine. We laugh about the chaos, and then he happily injects me twice, with a smile, he talks some more, while, my mouth becomes numb, so I can have my fillings replaced and my teeth cleaned. Afterwards, he lectures me about dental care, and how I must come visit him, more often, just to chat.   He is lonely and loves good company.


My turn to receive : Lecturing and Listening :

Most of you know, I have been married for 18 years now, Willem has been my wing man and partner for a long time. Whenever, I get sick, I am sat down for a listening and lecturing session, which sinks in deeply and I need to do some inner work, to rectify some behaviours, so he is my counsellor. He basically kicks my ass! I accept it.

Massages are Healing :

In India, I treated myself to an Ayurvedic massage, which was awesome, I was all blissed out and chilled.

I think, I needed more, but right after, I told the therapist, how to improve it, Old habits die hard. She really struggled to get into my muscles and was getting frustrated, so I just demonstrated a simple technique, that will save her hands, and she would enjoy her sessions, much more.

Every evening, I receive a foot massage before bed, from Willem,  so I can sleep well, and feel all goo weee.

What you did not know, is that I am cooked for each day. A healthy warm vegetarian meal awaits me, everyday! My man, cooks really well!! most of the vegetables are grown by him, so the food is really good. My standard for a highly nutritional clean meal, is prepared with LOVE and served, everyday!

Cleansing baths :

I have switched my bath salt routine,  to epsom salts, with mustard powder and mustard oil, with a dash of Diatomacious earth, so I can detox, from travelling and the medicine, I have ingested.

I also give myself a massage in the morning and do lymphatic drainage cupping, to help my body heal.

I am taking my course of Ayurvedic plant based medicine, so I will assess, how well it worked, on my body, in a few weeks.

Restoring Nap sessions :

After the jetlag had warn off, I felt my body, still needed lots of rest. So, I take a 11.30am nap and a 3pm nap. The cats happily join me, as I start to play, my sleep music. It is so soothing, to just nap, when your body needs it, not because your sick or burnt out, but because you can.

I recommend naps. . . . . . . to everyone.


Reiki with Crystals and deep healing :

Yesterday, I placed crystals all over my body, and reiki d me, I went supper deep into my psyche, to heal the aspects that attracted this awful journey. Learning to accept disappointment gracefully, letting go of attachment, letting go of the martyr within. This left me feeling sad and grieving, but I just went with it, and today, I am feeling more like me, again. I can feel the music. I can sense beauty. I can just smile. . . .


Hearing my Higher self, My Ancestors, My guides  :

In India the noise was so loud, not just the actual traffic, but the psychic noise of imbalance, reaching deep from people, being out of Sync with their own spirit, their own Ancestors, their guides. Imagine a radio station, being slightly off the actually radio station frequency, a buzz, a darkness, a vibration, that is never balanced, but perpetuated by Survival/ Pain/ Rushing, being disconnected from all that makes us human, our Spirit, our ability to Intuit, our feelings.


Being home, has made me Appreciate, my connection to Spirit, connected to my Higher self and my Ancestors once again, I felt complete. I felt like an unplugged device, seeking to be plugged into my Space and Universe again, here at Home.


I cannot live on Pain.  I seek Light always, and Love/ kindness.

Thank you to everyone, for the calls, the whats app messages, the overwhelming responses from all over the world. I am a empath, I chose to heal fast. I learn the lesson, and I move on. Like taking a walk about in the outback, the journey may be uncomfortable, but you will always find a way out, as I did.

Empaths, hold magic, I cannot stress this more, and more, as I keep learning and growing.

Remember, if you are uncomfortable, change it!

Ask for help. Find a reiki healer. Find a way. You are not alone. 


PS! Some people, do not want help, n o  matter, how loud their spirit screams for it, it is time, to become more discerning. Closing the doors of toxic friendship, embracing the silence within myself.


Empath: India : Pune: Being uncomfortable and sick : Needing Home


This lesson started about 3 years ago, I met a lady online and had volunteered to help her. She suffered with full blown anxiety, ptsd, eating and sleeping disorder, the fixer in me, wanted to heal her, everyday, I sent her energy, however, she was a empty shell, so depression creeped in. Eventually, I suggested she come to South africa for healing, she did. My good intention, because a Pain infused Colleen, driven, by what I could do to heal her, instead of I am just the vessel. She had no selflove, so I became her battery source of energy. She sucked time and energy, each day.

The first few days in Pune, India was fun. I was surrounded by friends, food and fun, which was my focus and Intention, then things started to fall apart. Even though, I sent reiki ahead, the imbalance of the place and situation was way to much for me. 

I noticed so many things which were out of balance, including, my dear friend. He had been married for 1 year, his wife suffered with anxiety and OCD. She would spend hours in the kitchen packing away dishes and re organising it, the same with Laundry. It was tiresome for me, as a empath. I felt her imbalance with herself/ her ancestors/ lack of self love, life in Pune was hard for me, I lived on the 3rd floor in a flat, the trees around the place was dusty and dying from the huge amount of pollution, carbon dioxide fumes, there was traffic 24 hours a day, the noise level was intense. (I chose not to treat her, as I could see, it would not help her, in the long run.)

By the 4th day, I felt spacy, not being able to feel the earth connection, I felt disconnected from True Earth spirit.
I could not hear my higher self, talk to me, the noise made it super difficult, to sleep, lack of sleep exhaustion crept in.

I was in a foreign country where English was not spoken, so even though, I read body language and thoughts, it became exhausting, to keep figuring out things, everyday. If you did not have a good interpretter, being a tourist, was super difficult.

The trucks, the cars, the bikes all hooted, there was no space, due to over population. Efficiency and service delivery was not a focus at all,  there was no conscience in terms of ripping you off, it was just so.

By the 7th day, I started feeling super uncomfortable, I had intended to spend time with friends, but their life was busy, living a Masculine, 5th sensory, survival, non spiritual life, disconnected from their spirit, intuition and themselves.

When, I mentioned, how uncomfortable, I was, I was told that this is the PAIN for visiting India. I felt disgruntled, I felt disappointed and I felt sick. He pointed out, he never asked for my help?  I had been feeling his imbalance for years, as I had taught him, Reiki level 1 and 2, there was a connection, but he chose another path.

This was not the same person, I taught, years ago.

The pollution of toxic psychic noise and carbon dioxide inhalation, started taking its toll. I decided, I needed to leave this space and found a hotel 4 hours later, after a huge meltdown in the 3 wheeler, tuk tuk,  some friends helped with a uber cab, to the hotel. I had not had proper sleep in days, I slept the entire day.

To be in a clean space, well ventilated space, with no noise, was paradise. I decided to go for a walk and found a park.

The universe sent me a stranger, to console me, who then 5 minutes later, was inviting me to his house for vodka. I pointed out that I needed to cry and that I was super strong and could literally lift him off the ground and throw him,  he got the message and disappeared.

The park, had the first grass I had seen in days, it felt good to breathe, fresh air, to feel the earth, once again.

Pune is pure city! 5th sensory life of eating, consuming, rushing, partying, being in the flow of city, soothing whatever, you desire. Mr Delivery, Ordering online, anything is available, 24 hours a day, you are able to buy anything. It is more expensive than the Midlands in South africa.  Work. Eat. Sleep. Drink. Repeat.

Kill the earth with your litter, your carbon fumes and tomorrow, do the same. They do it, so naturally unaware, that it is normal and heart breaking, they are killing their planet.

Pune is not Auroville, it is bigger than Johannesburg. While I was searching for a hotel, driving in circles, using google maps, asking strangers for help, I realized, this is not my space  or place of being.

What would have taken 1 hour in South africa time, takes many more hours in India, Pune.

Over population, traffic congestion, pollution, lack of awareness all took a big toll on me, walking this path, on my journey.

I started feeling flu ish, my nose, my chest, my bladder all felt pissed off and angry, at how uncomfortable, I was.

Excitement deflated, I was alone in a foreign place, I took out my pendulum and asked, should I go home, the answer was yes.

It took me all of 15 minutes, to amend my ticket home, my travel agent was on whats app and she quickly organised me a window seat, within a few hours, I was travelling to Mumbia, which took 5 hours in traffic, Pune to Mumbai.

I queued to get into the airport, I waited for the check in counter to open, 5 hours later.

I got my boarding pass, I was going home, I was sick, but happy to be on route to my shire.

I handed over my boarding pass, only to be told that, I had broken, a level 4 security brinch, I was escorted by 5 people to the luggage hangger to open, my baggage,I  showed them, there was no danger. My bag was rescanned and they saw my pendulum, and I explained that it is used to measure energy. I was urged to sign a document, stating that it was not a threat, and the rush for my flight was on.

By, now, I was holding back the flight, we ran to the boarding hanger, I was the last person to board, flight Ek 501, Mumbai to Dubai.

The flight from Dubai to Durban, was amazing, I had 3 seats to myself, to sleep and just relax. I was looked after and fed well, and I could feel the African energy, once we crossed the Equator.

Two days of travel and I was completely drained, fallen out of love with India, completely.

Home. Silence. Nature. Safety. Shire. Fresh food. Clean water. Clean air.

The excitement of India, deflated, leaving me with 3 different infections.

Today, I visited my doctor and he said, it is good, I came home, as this could turn into pneumonia,

which is exactly, what I felt in, India, Pune.

Knowing myself well, knowing my limit, feeling a closure to visiting India, knowing a picture, is only one aspect of the scenery, there is so much, we miss, when I get sucked into the utopic naiivety of a time and space.

Forgetting to live in the NOW!

Accepting the lessons to learn, hard and heart breaking.

I am on the mend. My body is healing and I will analyse and learn from this, as I reflect upon it.

Shire, you are home, to my spirit. Thank you.

Time to do some introspection, Time to forgive myself, Time to embrace, just being human like everyone else, I make mistakes.


Reflecting on Lessons learnt :

  1. Having a friend / student for 10 years – warning them or mentoring them and they do not listen, makes it a toxic relationship.
  2. Toxic relationships are pollutants to empaths, especially emotions like anxiety, depression, ptsd, ocd, mental healthy conditions, which are “not treated” in India, as people are seen as mad.
  3. If you do receive a Level 1 / 2 / Reiki masters attunement, and you do not practise, there is negative karma attached to it, you become a Energy vampire, sucking energy from others, daily, polluting your vessel.
  4. I am the vessel of healing, I do not own it. Reiki is a wonderful tool, you need to master it and your journey.
  5. Sometimes, you can prepare and do your best, and shit still happens.
  6. As a empath, you feel what they do not say, but unless they ask for help, you cannot interfere.
  7. As a Teacher, of reiki, be detached, teach, but do not carry. People will do, what they do.
  8. Self sacrifice – is a dangerous thing – it results in dis-ease in your body, and depleted life force, choose self love instead.
  9. When your pain body is activated by NOISE, Pollution, Psychic noise and Energy of imbalance, it is difficult to hear your Higher self clearly, even more difficult to stay grounded in a country, that is imbalanced, know your limit and leave that toxic space.
  10. Rest  – I wish I had rested more, so I could have handled it all better, but alas, I learnt hard lessons, that was needed.
  11. If you live in silence, visit places of silence. If you eat clean healthy food, visit places that has the same consciousness re food. If you have clean tap water, running down a valley of forest, visit a space with the same water values. If you live in nature, visit natural spaces only.  Pollution both physical and other, will harm you.
  12. It is hard to find like -minded spirits out there, who resonate on the same frequency, who live with the same values for life, it is better to be alone, than conform to their’s, your own self peace is of more value.
  13. Appreciate your life, your space, you are good enough!   and I do. I have been home for 4 days, and I decided to take February as a time of inner reflection and to overcome my flu. A time, to just be, is needed.
  14. Speak your truth always.
  15. Know your limit.
  16. Get rid of toxic people in your life, choose not to carry anyone, even if you run away. Toxic people, kills your spirit, I know from experience.
  17. Listen to your intuition, always. Act.
  18. Even if you are in the hardest possible situation, there is always a way out, Universe gives you an escape, take it.
  19. Take time to heal. Discreate the pattern, to go within, as to why this happened.
  20. Learn the lesson, then move on. Do not stay there, in the pain, it is done.


Mama Self-care by Claire R

​The cool water runs over my naked body as sweet as a kiss. The river chatters like an old friend. The morning light washes the air clean, leaving no trace of yesterday. I sink down and inhale the silty summery smell of the water. I have a few minutes alone. Two. Four. Maybe eight. I don’t know when I will be needed again, when my name will be called. But I take the time to move slow. To look at the bush stretching up the hillside above. I drink in the play of sunlight over the acacia trees, see how it seeps into the terra-cotta of protruding cliffs. I find a spot by the reeds, in a quiet eddy, with a rock that curves round my hips. I reach for the soap tucked among the plants, dip it into the flow, then bring it close to my face and breathe in its scent of ylang-ylang, cardamom, and cloves. I slip it down my neck, around my breasts, under and over my arms. Now its exotic perfume whispers off my own skin. I am of the river, of the land beneath its waters, of ancient stories and time eternal. I am here, now.
    ‘Mama!’ Four minutes. 
    I rinse off quickly and stand up to see my four-year-old daughter picking her way through the thorn trees. 
    ‘Here I am!’ I call. I wave to her dad watching from the top of the path with our six-week-old baby in his arms. When Emma reaches me she stops, momentarily surprised by my nakedness knee-deep in the river. 
    ‘Do you want to come in too?’ 
    ‘Yes please.’ She lifts her arms for me to pull off her shirt, then pushes down her shorts and panties. I help her in, and she leads the way across the rocks scattered in the river’s breadth. She is an explorer, an adventurer, and I try to keep up. I show her how to splash water on the burning stones; she shows me what it is to be fearless and in love with the world. I was blessed by my moment alone with the river, and I am blessed by my journey across it with her…
Self-care is a recent buzzword. As with any trend, there are those seeking ways to make money out of it, attempting to sell their own version of the concept alongside the maximum number of products. Mothers serve as a great target market. They are usually under pressure to perform well, with little to no training, while acting under multiple other (usually unrealistic) expectations, without much support. It’s a vulnerability waiting to be tapped. Really effective consumer marketing leaves the customer marginally satisfied, but still wanting more. And so self-care gets packaged as “me-time”. It asks us to step away from our children and take joy in their absence. It effectively casts them as an inconvenience to be minimized, rather than the joy of our lives.

Of course, some activities really do require the use of all four limbs, or quiet to think. But it seems more helpful to phrase our self-care in terms of our actual needs, rather than a vague dis-ease that quickly morphs into an urge to escape. Because even if the spa package or girls night out does indeed refresh or rejuvenate, when we return, the day-long night-long demands of caring for young children remain. The only sustainable self-care for mothers is to move towards our children, to find healing in mothering itself. Our ability to nurture, to be kind, patient and generous, will never amount to what it could be if we don’t practice on ourselves.

Motherhood can be its own form of meditation, and an illuminating path of growth, but it is not easy to brand it as such. Our prayer beads are covered in drool, our yoga mats are stashed beneath kites and beach balls, and our clothes are embellished with spit-up, paint spills, and chocolate smears. Our days are measured in minutes rather than hours. Leaving the house requires military-grade strategy. Plans are much more likely to evolve than conform. But if we can loosen the vice of our expectations, we can start to discover a beauty that does not have to be bought. With practice, and faith in ourselves, it is possible to find rest in the slow pace of a baby sleeping. We can draw energy from the unfettered joy of a toddler laughing. We can experience depth in a four-year-old’s curiosity to explore everything. We can learn to find the sacred in making a cup of tea, or a sandwich. We can learn to see the sunlight moving across the floor where we sit in on imaginary games. We can learn to accept that our most difficult moments, and our best days, will not be acknowledged or praised by anyone other than ourselves. Our children might remember them, one day when they are grown. In fact, the most accurate measure of our performance as parents is in the childhoods we create for them. We can choose lightness and love. We can be sweet to our kids. It is easy to ignore how deep and spiritual and difficult a task this can be. It takes humility. It takes commitment. It takes ongoing practice. It takes an embracing of the truth that most of the rewards for our life’s work will be internal and invisible. For those of us used to gold stars and pay rises, this can take time to absorb.

Two of the most useful tools I have found effective for self-care are both practices of awareness: gratitude and focus. They effect change in my life in small steps by small moments. Tiny changes, like focused awareness on a single full breath as often as I can throughout the day, can soften my heart and build my mama strength. I cannot control most of what happens in and around me. I cannot, for example, control my children’s behavior, or the emotions that they experience as they go about their lives. There are a whole lot of external factors I cannot control. I cannot control the weather, or the wifi, or the flies (oh my god the flies), or the fact that sometimes there just is not enough time left in the day to do laundry or sweep the floor. But I can choose where to direct my thoughts and awareness. I can notice the way the light falls on my baby’s skin as he feeds. I can look deep into my daughter’s eyes as she tells me about her latest discovery on Youtube. I can calmly and quietly pour out my coffee, and find a few moments to sit and drink it. I can keep my phone at hand, to capture images of my kids doing ordinary amazing things. I can focus on the way my fingers feel as they move against each other. I can feel my spine lengthen as I walk my baby to sleep round and round the room. I can look at the trees and see the exact color and shape of their leaves. I can look for reflections in puddles, secret portraits left by the rain. When I do get a chance to pick up a broom, or hang out the laundry, I can let my soul soothe to the sweeping movements, or think about the precious bodies that this sweet-smelling sheet enveloped, or the adventure that stained this shirt with mud. Instead of noticing that I’m actually rather dirty most of the time, I can cherish every minute that I get to spend lying in the bath as the luxury it is, filling the tub with hot water and bath salts, and lighting a candle. Or I can enjoy the fun of lukewarm bubbles and soap crayons when I am joined by two little companions.

…Emma and I reach the other side of the river, and clamber up onto an enormous rock. Its sun-soaked skin is smooth and friendly under our palms. My heart smiles as I look across the milky-tea water, my little guru under my arm. On the other side my husband is waiting, my son over his shoulder. Even though all I can hear is the rush of the current, I know I am needed. We make our way back, tripping and splashing over the shallow rocky space. Emma cries a little as I leave her. I kiss her hair, thank her for our adventure, and promise her her dad will take my place. I quickly dry my chest with my shirt and take my son in my arms. Once he is latched I tug on a few more clothes and climb back towards the camp. We nestle into a folding chair just beyond the boma. Around us, the cicadas sing in the trees. Peter and I are together, and we are right there, wrapped up in the swirl of life.

This post was written in exchange for a full-body massage by Colleen of the Midlands House of Healing. Once a month, our family travels to the Karkloof for therapy sessions for both my husband and me. We take turns to sit in Colleen’s living room with our daughter. Colleen puts on a movie, lays out snacks, and offers blankets and bubbles. She makes possible and fun what many would make difficult. She welcomes us as we are, a family with a young child. And now with young children. Last month we celebrated six-weeks postpartum with a visit to Colleen. I was eager to receive my first proper full-body massage in close to a year. My body was mine once more, transforming still but on the road to healing. We spent the night before with my mom, as Emma had been invited to celebrate her cousin’s birthday at a nearby restaurant, and my mom had offered to take her. But when the moment came to climb in the two cars and separate, Emma burst into tears. She didn’t want to leave me, but she also didn’t want to miss the fun with her cousin. She stood on the driveway clutching his present in one hand, and the edge of my pants in another, wailing. In the last month and a half, her world had changed. Her home, her family, her mother. I couldn’t rush her now, or shush her fears. It was important that she know that she was important. I sat next to her and held her hand in the back of my mother’s car, while my husband followed with our son. We talked and talked over ways to work the morning. She napped a little. I messaged Colleen to let her know what was happening and that we would be late. We drove all together to the restaurant. My husband waited in the carpark while I walked my daughter and mother to the playground. I explained to my daughter that I had an appointment, that someone was waiting for me. She wanted to see her cousin. After a few minutes, she kissed me goodbye. We made it to Colleen’s only a little late. She greeted us with a hug, and a warm welcome. She made me feel glad to be there. She didn’t make me feel bad to be mama. She made me feel normal, and good, that I travelled with a crowd, that plans aren’t always to be counted on. She made it possible to seek healing without denying motherhood. And what bliss that healing was.

To book a session with Colleen, contact her on 084 603 0604.

Empath : Pune India – The Fake vs Reality

2017 was a busy year! Teaching, seeing clients, healing, studying, taking care of my partner and life in general was busy. I decided in September 2017, to come to India, I was invited by my bestie, who I met in Auroville, in 2008. It has been a 10 year love affair with India, this tugg of war, go to India or stay comfortably in my shire of silence, comfort, home, work, routine.

I am uncomfortable, as a I miss my silence. Here in India the energy is THICK and ROUGH, untamed energy of human nature.

My heart beats faster, I am hungry more often, I need more water, more juice, more smoothies, more, this insatiable hunger for food, adventure, life, desire, frenzy that lingers in the air, tugging at my very being.

I practise yoga every morning, meditation, grounding visualisation as we are on the 3rd floor of an apartment, luckily there are many trees. I am woken up with noise and I go bed with noise.

This place holds its own magic. Everything is a little bit more complicated, than in the western world.

Time ticks away faster. We have more chores to do, ( I will explain )

  1. Water needs to be filtered everyday for drinking.
  2. Bacteria is everywhere, so one must keep things clean and dustfree, more often.
  3. Small change when using money  is a big thing, if you do not have small change, they will need to find some, with another shop.
  4. As a foreigner, who looks Indian, people speak Hindi to me all the time, and I just keep reading their thoughts and body language, which is tiring.
  5. Back in South africa, we buy our vegetables from Pick and Pay and it is fresh. Here, vegetables are delivered at night, they are dusty and you need to was them well, in order to use them. They also have a limited shelf life, because if the shop is near traffic, it destroys its natural energy.
  6. Fuel is rs80 which is about R20 a liter, here in Pune. You also need to have exact change, when you fill your tank or else, they will keep the change.
  7. Whenever I come to India, I do things like, have my teeth cleaned, go to a Ayurvedic doctor, have my eyes tested as they have really good services, but you need to find the Authentic practitioners, or else you will be ripped off.
  8. Traffic : Traffic is 24 hours a day, everyone stays up late…late until 1am in the morning and wakes up late, shops open at 10.30am, so if you need a courier service, you need to wait for them to open, as I did this morning.
  9. Everything is a process. In South africa, if you are a waiter, you clean the table, you take the order, you serve it and remove the dishes. In India this equals = 5 people  = Five people are employed to do 1 persons job, it is shocking for me to see this. I was told, it was due to the over population, everyone needs a job.
  10. Travelling : Indians do not mind travelling to any place, they just happily wait it out and travel.
  11. Restaurants with good food are mostly booked up and you sit outside the restaurant, waiting for a gap to get in.
  12. Things perish quicker here, it is fresh now and 3 days later, old and forlorn.
  13. Dust Dust and more dust are present in the homes, everyone has a MOUSHEE, a maid to clean everyday to do dishes and sweep the house.
  14. In South africa, we keep our hands on our homes, we do regular paint jobs and repairs, here, if something needs repairs, it is just left to decay, instead of maintaining it, they will build a new one.
  15. Pune is the biggest city in India,  the billboards sell apartments and sell the lifestyle of city living, to people.
  16. It is booming like any city, buildings are being created all over the place, people working hard to make homes and liter is a normal thing on the streets.
  17. There is no recycling. People litter.
  18. Driving rules are a myth here, no k53 or blind spot checking or anything remotely logical. I wear a scarf over my nose, when we drive in the city, as the carbon emissions are so much.
  19. The noise pollution is taxing on my system, I sleep less because my sleep is often interrupted by sirens, hooting, dogs and screams. ( (I do miss, my shire.)
  20. Customs of old are still around, this morning I went to the temple and listened to the old men speak hindi, laugh and giggling away like old friends, followed by wives and kids later on. It was peaceful, before the traffic madness started.
  21. Skin colour is still a big thing in Pune, you are treated different, based on your skin tone!
  22. The business signage have a Western approach to it, advertising a service, however, when you go and enquire, they would rather, say NO and refer, you to someone else. A big hint of lazyness, resides.
  23. The morning rush is exactly that, rush to work, only to first have tea, a snack, a breakfast, a chat with a colleague, it is quite ironic, you get this feeling that it is more about the journey, and less about the efficiency of the job or the service that they you provide.
  24. LA la la  time  – between 1pm and 4pm, there is a LULL in the air of no one is working, we are taking a break a siesta, taking into account, they just arrived at 10am for work and quickly turned on the computer, to work. As long as there is a job, they are there, no conscience, as to what service they provide.
  25. India has the cheapest data plans ever, I bought a sim card for Rs300 for 56 gigs, which will last about 28 days. There is app, where you can call local for free.
  26. The food so far has been amazing! Fruit tastes delicious and amazing! you can tell by the amount of pictures, I have taken, food porn is definitely, my thing.
  27. Everything is about the Journey, more than the destination. Have tea, chat. Have a meal, chat. Drive and chat on your cell phone.
  28. Uber is big in India and Mr Delivery  – you can order anything on line and they deliver, it is wow!
  29. Living space is very limited here. If you have a kitchen, things need to be stored in jars/ cupboards well sealed from bugs and mosquitoes.
  30. So, I visited Osho International recently, and got my robe, it was most expensive. Rs5000 in total for registrations, daily fee, a meal, and a meditation. The feel of the entrance is nice. You are welcomed by 3 people in total, they are funny, mystical and very interested in you. I kept my shield up and just observed the space and time. I needed to use the bathroom, and was heading to it. I was stopped by a Indian guy, asking me, IS your Hair real>? I said yes. He said your hair is so beautiful, can I touch it, I said, well ok, my hair is as real as yours, its just hair. I felt hit on. I observed and got a feeling of predator vs prey.  Sexual conquests were everywhere, pursuing woman and physical relationships. I quickly left this creepy guy to find my friend. We ate a basic rice meal, cost of Rs500. For a Indian spiritual place, it is aimed at foreigners, earning dollars, pounds and any foreign currency will do. The Kundalini meditation was ok, not amazing. You shake your body to the sound of healing music for 15minutes, you dance for 15 minutes and you relax for 15 min and then sleep for 15 minutes. In this time, I observed many people, lost, and very disconnected, using this space, not for what it is intended. The Rules which they talk you through are endless, which already left me irritated and feeling like a sheep. My conclusion, is this, I am living my spiritual path and purpose, it is NOT a part time thing. I checked the followers out, everyone walked about with their noses in the air, no light in their eyes, their body language, beamed supremacy and I am isolating myself. The last straw for me was the gentleman, who reprimanded me for using my cell phone, when I refused to use it in the Smoking zone. He felt righteous, that cell phones was bad and that the signal would affect his superior attitude, no dude, I don’t think so, you being a Ass, affects it.  I left Osho relieved to be gone from this fake established, who catfish people by promoting a ideal which is not real anymore, promoting promiscuity free for all, in the name of fulfilling your desires. I feel it is better to live your spiritual life and practise daily and not be hit on by a stranger, wanting to get into your pants. Osho – No thanks. You may have had a great idea and vision, but it is not the reality anymore. Once again humans have polluted a good ideal, for a fake one. Do not be fooled by what you see on the Internet, being catfished is real.

Empath : Travelling : meeting strangers


Finally! 25th January had arrived, I woke up at 2.30am, anxious, scared, excited and wide awake.

I tossed and turned in bed waiting for 4.30am to arrive, so I could make myself a cup of rooibos tea, with some St Johns wort to calm my nerves.

What to expect? Did I pack all I needed? I walked to my desk, with my tea, looked at my luggage, afraid that I had missed something, I would need. . .  fear creeped in just a little bit, but I would not let it reign.

We left for the airport at 8.30am, my intuition said leave early, get to the airport early and just enjoy the silence of the journey.

We arrived at the airport only to have no parking spots available, we searched for 10 minutes, and then off we went to the check in. Arriving at the check in point, only to be told that it only opens at 2pm, as my flight was at 7pm.

I stood at the counter, Willem happily kissed me goodbye and said ok, bye, see you later. We learnt to not be attached to goodbye’s, just go and enjoy the journey.

I met several people who were keen to share knowledge and assistance about travelling. I went to the airport early because I needed a isle seat or window seat as the flight was full, full full as per the travel agent.

So, after waiting for 3 hours, I finally checked in my baggage, not disclosing the 2 litres of whisky in my luggage, saying that I only had 100ml of liquid in it. (I know, naughty hey! but it felt good! to see the joy in my friends face, when I handed him the gift, so it was worth it.)

My baggage was booked in, time to go through security and immigration which took a total of 5 minutes, I chatted with the personnel who were friendly and helpful.

I sat at gate number A20 in silence with not a soul around, I realized I had eaten my lunch, which Willem made for me, stir fry vegetables with haddock, at 11am, I was hungry. I had packed 3 apple juices, niknaks and cheddars, so I had a lovely Colleen picnic, at the gate A20.

As time passed people started to arrive, all kinds, all shapes and sizes.

You know that moment when the air hostess and pilot parades through the airport, looking all hot and sexy, there is definitely a sexual appeal to them! It seems all Pilots are HOT!!!!!!! perfect perception of body, chin, cleft and teeth, interesting picture. Our brains are definitely designed to recognise attractive people and even people who SMILE!

I met Olga Du Plessis, who immediately, shared her life story and her kids problems with me, I just explained that they needed reiki and some therapy and assured her all would be good again.

I speeded up time with reiki and soon enough, we were boarding, yay!

I had a isle seat, next to a chinese lady and a bangladeshy guy called Ahmed.

They both suffered with OCD, their legs kept jittering away and I beamed them reiki to calm down.  I had sent reiki to the airport, passengers and pilots.

Soon, it was take off time, my ULTIMATE favourite part of flying the butterflies, the pull of gravity, I absolutely love it and bam! I was on my way to DUBAI. The flight was bumpy, noisy, busy and had 2  screaming babies on board, who only started to scream, once I had fallen asleep only to be woken up, by an announcement of fasten your seatbelt.

I took little walks on the plane and chatted to the air hostess Gabriela who is of Brazillian descent, her mom does Reiki and she has the magic of healing also, we talked about her current job, her body aches and pains and how fulfilling it is to do reiki.

I arrived in Dubai, grumpy, sleepy, hangry! feeling somewhat disappointment, but then something amazing happened. I met Rahul who is a marine engineer from Mumbai and we started chatted, which soothed my frazzledness, I then met Kumar from Chennai, he is a bookkeeper in Lusaka and would be flying home to his family. We had such interesting conversations about life, work and home, that I felt completely comfortable sharing my journey.

I went to the bathroom and found this little tiny chinese lady working her ass off to keep 6 bathrooms clean, the flood of woman needing to wee were many, and she cleaned like a Minion. I went to her and gave her a Hug and said thank you. Her name was Panama, she asked me where I was from and I told her South africa, she asked why I was not black, lol!  She asked me where I was going to ? I said india, she then removed rs110 from her pocket and handed it to me, and said for you! I was ambivalent about taking it, but thought, well, thank you! and left after sharing a chat and another hug! I know a stranger gave me Money! how amazing.

I walked back to my boarding gate, ready for my next journey, from Dubai to Mumbai. Rahul and Kumar were patiently waiting for me to board with them and we chatted some more.

The flight was uneventful! full of joy, it was day time and We were ready to embark into Mumbai.

As the aeroplane lands, you can see the slums, it is somewhat like Khayelitsha in Cape Town, my heart sank, as I always wonder, where will they bath? or Do their toilet business?  Anyhow, we landed safely, all flowed and it took me a total of 30 minutes to embark from the immigration, airport and security, it was 2.30pm and I was in Mumbai.

My friend Raj, was late, as he was stuck in traffic, it was India’s independence day and people were out and about, enjoying the day!

The last leg of my race to India! yay!  my joy was short lived, only to discover that we had another 5 hours of travelling to do in India traffic, I dosed myself with St Johns wort and took catnaps in the car.  We stopped for water / chai and on our mission, we were.


In India, you have Indian time, which means 5 minutes, could be 5 hours. English time is 5 minutes standard time. Every Hour, I asked are were there yet? Like a exhausted kid, wanting her bottle, pillow and blanket.

We finally arrived, only to carry all my luggage up 3 flights of stairs! I crashed that night, like a logg!

Now to overcome jetlag, as I had friends arriving over the next 2 days, so reiki/ yoga, some light exercise would do the trick and using my awesome Bellabaci cups!

It is an amazing journey so far . . . . 🙂






Empath : Henpecked – Rather die than live your true spirit

‘Well? What have you got to say for yourself?’


Yesterday, I met a guy who has died twice on the operating table. I physically helped him out of the car, he walked like an old man, even though, he was in his early 50’s. There was no light in his eyes, no zest for life, he was an empty shell,  like someone asleep. His will to live was gone, lost on this journey.

He was tall, slender, he had lost a lot of weight quickly, you could tell by the hanging on his jeans on his hips and buttox and the tightened belt around his waist, he pulled up his pants, his mobility was hindered as if he had been hit by a truck!

His beard was grey and black, his blue eyes, dull and lost, he hugged with the power of a dying battery.  He had the physique of a hard working man, a worker, a listener, a dad, a dedicated husband and father. He had given, his all, in life to others.

He conformed to the demands of this world, without a blink, he conformed to the opinions of others, his mother, his father, his wife, his kids, making no time for himself, being completely disconnected from self love, from his female self. Subduing every aspect of what he loved and used to live for.

When you have a heart attack, you force the JOY and LOVE from your body and refuse to feel anymore.

I placed him on the reiki bed and explained that I was going to bring his spirit back, all he needed to do, was relax and breathe, I placed a blanket on him to comfort and soothe his body, I placed crystals on his body and then began the magic.

I rebooted his heart 7 times with reiki, I blasted his body with reiki x 3 and each time, calling his SPIRIT back!

After the session, I asked him to create a bucket list and start living and loving his life, doing what he loves, ignoring the demands of others, and just be himself.

(His wife sat in the room and was appalled at all the things I pointed out to him.)

When he lifted his legs off the bed, I put his shoes on and tied his laces.

His SPIRIT was back, his eyes were sparkly, he walked with ease and he talked with a strong voice.

It was such an amazing experience, to be able to help someone with REIKI.

Every day I am in awe of this magic, it changes lives, it changes families, and it will certainly change you!


Empath : Be a Goddess: Evolve from a HEAD space to HEART space


I am 41 years old, even though my go to age is 36, I have been unemployed for 10 years. I have been out of the system for 10 years, and I do not miss it. What affected me the most in the corporate world is the dualistic/ subduing of ones emotions.

I ran a branch, called Tracker network in Cape Town, the first 2 hours of my job was spent counselling staff, so they could do their job. I miss the good colleagues, I had and the mentors I connected with.

My teacher was Celia Jones, she was English and from the UK! She trained me well, so I could take over her position as Regional administrator, she is an awesome lady!  She moved back home and every now and then we connect on Facebook!

When I left the corporate world, I was a bit F***ed up!  Why, because every day I had to subdue my intuition, my feelings of identifying liars and unethical behaviour.

So, I had completed my Reiki Masters on 7 September 2007 and I resigned from my job and left for India with my partner, carrying the clothes on our backs and 1 backpack each! It took us a process of 1 month to sell all our worldly possessions, and the feeling of freedom, was amazing! Being free! Free from debt, free from a job, free from obligation! That was the most amazing feeling ever.

Shifting from a Male driven life into a Female driven life was a  HUGE change for me!  That is why I went to India, Auroville, to get to know WHO I was!  NOT knowing yourself is a HUGE disadvantage, because, without knowing your trueself, you actually pollute your own well, thinking you are this person or that.

In Auroville, I worked hard, physically, I pushed all the limits of my physicality because I needed! I sweated. I swore. I laughed. I cried. I felt more alive in that year, than I had all of my life! I lived.

Here are some tips to get your SHIFT started :

Step 1: Get sweaty, Exercise. Do the Yoga. Do the Inner work of dealing with who you are.

Step 2: Speak UP and speak your truth, even if you are screaming at the top of your lungs.

Step 3: Have fun. Laughter eases the head and opens the heart.

Step 4: Go for a massage / healing / reiki / counselling explore the INNER YOU! Deeply.

Step 5: Accept your DIVINE SELF : Be the Goddess, dress with colour! SMILE! Your beautiful.

Step 6: Accept your UNKNOWN : You don’t need to have all the answers Now…….  You will figure it out.

Step 7: We all have a unique path, you just need to keep walking it. If you fall down, dust off the dirt, but keep moving.

Step 8:  Meditate on loving every aspect of yourself : Your Inner child, adolescent self and adult self.

Step 9: Stop the BODY shaming!  You are perfect as is.

Step 10:  LOVE! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE every aspect of your life! Don’t wish it away! If you don’t like it, change it! But accept it.

Step 11: Money is just seed for your life, so be generous and give 10% of it away! You will be richer for it.

Step 12: Paint, Draw, Doodle, write, express your art! Be creative and PLAY! Make amazing food with tastes and texture. Have tea often. Laugh. Dance. Listen to Music. Pick fruit. Use every aspect of your life for LIVING! And truly enjoy it.

Step 13: If you have pets, you know how amazing they are, the fur babies, give so much joy, so cuddle them, love them.

Step 14: Have sex, not just the quickie kind. I mean the mind and body exploding, tears rolling down your cheeks, type of orgasms, that leaves you with a 3 day after glow. Go explore your sexual self.

Step 15: Enjoy your Sensual self : Eat healthy, drink with thirst, laugh with JOY, be present and just love, who you are becoming!

Step 16: Connecting with your female self is easy! Just love every aspect of your being. Love. Love love love love and then love some more. Forgive and forget easily!

Step 17: Have no expectations. No rules. No absolutes. You make the rules and the demands when you decide the time is right.

Step 18: Scarves and colourful underwear are in….go shopping!

Step 19: Bath time is time for candles, coarse salt, Epsom salts, bubbles and oils.

Step 20: Healing yourself is a Journey, the longer the journey, the more you begin to evolve into this new you, a gentler, kinder, more loving, amazing  you!

Take the Leap!


Empath : Secrets to packing light and travelling with no jetlag

Most of you know by now, that I will be travelling to India, landing in Mumbai on the 26th January and travelling for 3 hours by taxi to Pune.

Why am I so calm about it? Well, where normal people would stress about the entire journey and frantically pack the day before, I don’t function on that vibrational planet.

I use my empath abilities, my logic, reiki energy, I make list to intuite exactly what I need to ensure my comfort and security.

I started packing in November 2017, why? Because I enjoy the journey of packing and travelling.

I purchased new underwear, gifts, packed the bare essentials for me, which I know will soothe and help me on this Journey!

India is my spiritual home, it is the place where I found my True self in 2007, and even though I have a LOVE / HATE relationship with India, it will teach me what I need to learn, push me where I need to grow, and show me things I never expected.

I feel I am ready!

Some packing secrets for travelling as a empath:

  1. Take St johns wort along, with Echinaforce to soothe your nerves and boost your Immune system.
  2. If you practice reiki send energy ahead to the journey. I asked the Universe for a specific seat and a specific person, to sit next me. ( I let go and wait….)
  3. Packing :  Roll your clothes, it saves space in your luggage, pack light, good undies, 4 outfits, 2 pair of shoes, a warm jacket.
  4. It will be a long journey, so take along your book, ear plugs, a neck travel pillow, a eye cover, so you can sleep.
  5. Rest and Relax 3 days before you fly, so you can do Yoga, exercise, meditate, and reiki yourself. Prepare well.
  6. Use Reiki to protect your baggage, I do. Leaving nothing to chance. Use locks or cable ties to secure it.
  7. On the plane : Book your meal before hand. Book your seat as soon as you can.
  8. Take a long a few survival things : Torch, Towels, Activated charcoal / Dietamacious earth for your tummy, as most people become constipated when travelling.
  9. Since very few liquids are allowed on board a aircraft, take 100ml of essential toiletries, ensure they are in Ziploc bags, for safety sake.
  10. Get your warrior look on, be discerning with whomever you engage with, listen to your gut feeling and go with it. Your intuition is always right.
  11. Take along 4 rosequartz stones and 4 hematite gemstones for your bed. A smudge stick to smudge your room. Coarse salt to bath in, so you can wash the flight energy away.
  12. Create a soothing play list of music and take along head phones, so you can sleep even in a noisy space.
  13. My biggest comfort is my pillow, so I have managed to pack 2, so I will be comfortable when sleeping.
  14. I have tried to think of every possible scenario, sent energy ahead with reiki and now I trust that all will flow. For the unplanned for things, I have assured myself, I will adapt and change and handle it in the moment, as it happens.
  15. I will also use reiki to shield the plane, to soothe the passengers / pilot / air hostess, and speed up time. I am definitely going to have fun, doing all of these magical things.
  16. You can reset your body and recover faster from jetlag with acupuncture, massage, cupping and reiki. Keep moving and adjust to the Local time zone. Do not go to sleep after you land, try and re -orientate yourself with your surroundings, observe.
  17. Always carry water with you, being dehydrated is no fun!
  18. The very next day after travelling, start with your routine of  yoga, meditation, exercise and grounding, it is important to stay focused, even when you do not feel like it.
  19. Eat healthy fruit and vegetables as soon as you can, the natural energy from the fruit/ vegetables will help your body recover faster.
  20. Avoid alcohol / caffeine on the aircraft, it dehydrates you.  Drink water, rooibos tea and fruit juices.
  21. On am emotional level, make peace within yourself, that yes, you will be uncomfortable, however, keep remembering your destination and keep focus, travelling is all about exploring the boundaries within and having a BIG sense of HUMOUR to laugh it off, what you do not like, so buckle up!


Happy Adventuring!!! 🙂







Empath path : Embracing being different

I have always been different. I can still remember the moment I was created, I had awareness and knowledge,  that I should not have had. I would never have a relationship with my mother, and it was so. I was raised and conditioned by my grandparents with strong values of different cultures, absolutes and challenges.

At 4 years old, I was able to give people insight into their world and lives, following the intuition and guidance of my Higher self, I just knew things.  Life and death angels would visit me and the knowledge and wisdom was always there.

In my 20’s I did home cleansing and exorcism, having no knowledge of the Karma which came with it, but doing what I felt was right, at the time, anyway.

Now in my 40’s, so much has happened. I have been practising reiki / massage / healing, teaching and assisting others on their journey of healing. This path has unfolded into such an adventure.

Mostly, I am uncomfortable, because I am being led and pushed into the UNKNOWN, which is a combination of fear, OMG! What the F**K!  I have done 51 Attunements, and my spirit keeps growing at a pace, …where I need to keep up.

I am different. I am ok with it. Most of society, does not accept different people, different people are bullied, judged, criticised, rebuffed, scoffed and treated badly.

Tolerance and LOVE is not a big factor in today’s society, however, I cannot hide,who I am forever.

The moment I step into the real 5 sensory world of traffic, people, noise and chaos, I feel so bad for the Unawakened. I attended a social event and I could literally feel people sucking my energy, which left me feeling so disgruntled and pissed off, that I would have preferred to stay home without the drudgery of going out, but that only means I need to isolate myself which is unhealthy.

So, a way forward, is to try and manage me better. It is my job to change me and that I will do.

So, I need to rest before going out for an evening event.

Reiki me well on that day, send energy ahead, ground me well, wear my protective gemstones and dodge people, who are energy vampires.

Being an empath and dealing with the real world, is taxing for us, because we are different, we feel everything and see things differently. We are different, we are here to make this world a better place, not just for us, but for the future generations of kids, and future healers.

So, take some time to absorb that knowledge, being different is ok.

Being an empath, is ok also, acceptance is the key to managing our world, finding a way to manage which we have and living it –  day by day.

When you feel tired, rest.

When you feel overwhelmed, rest.

When you feel depleted, go for a reiki session. (contact me)

When you feel empty, top up with a repair massage.

When you feel lonely, just be.

When you feel lost, just be, tomorrow will be better.

Feeling is what we do! We cannot hide, subdue or suppress who or what we are, because we are unique and divinely inspired!

So, put on your cloak, put up your shield and lets, live to conquer another day!

Because each day is different and we are capable of making magic happen!


PS!  14 days to India! Yes, my bags are packed, as I started packing in November 2017, I do not do chaos, I do order. My visa is ready, my passport is ready for that stamp!  I am ready to feel the heat of the MUMBAI air hit my skin. I will be smiling until my cheekbones hurt ! 🙂 






A space to Meditate, do yoga, meet like minded people = Join US!

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Welcome to the hub of creative inspiration for health, healing and happiness!

This platform is here to provide you with inspiration to get MOVING, CREATING, SOUL SEARCHING AND CONNECTING BACK TO YOURSELF through full length yoga flows, tutorials, art journal prompts & techniques and creative exercises (and a few other topics explained below!). Each season we explore a different theme through movement, art, self reflection and inspiration to connect you back to your body, your breath and your fullest potential!


Each season explore a series of meditations connected to the theme, designed to create some space in your head, some peace in your heart and a deeper sense of self-awareness.


Dive deep into the current theme with some thought provoking questions, soul-searching prompts and a little guidance to get you to the core of what is holding you back from being your most awesome self!

 Find your tribe! Join the private community where you will find amazing like-minded people ready to help, share and keep you accountable to being the best version of yourself.

In this area you will find in-depth break-downs of various poses (basic to advanced), breathing techniques and other little tidbits explained simply and clearly for a safe and well-rounded yoga practice.

Themed prompts, ideas and creative DIYs. Largely based on art-journaling, but including a variety of modalities to get your hands dirty, making, painting, doodling, gluing, inking and creating!

The inspiration station! Expect links to thoughtful podcast recommendations, interesting articles, visually stimulating works or anything else that may spark some inspiration for the current theme.


Let’s MOVE! Full length yoga flow videos centred on the season theme to follow at home. Short and sweet 10 minute practices all the way to delicious hour-long flows – dynamic to restorative, sweaty to cozy! Move, sweat, stretch, breathe, restore!


Tasks to get you out into the community, to prompts and exercises to get you digging deeper into what makes you YOU. This is the space where we get grateful, fired up, ready to let stuff go and on a mission to connect, give, share and love more!


Explore the “inner workings” of yoga (and life) in a fun and easily accessible way that makes psychology, ‘self-help’ and the ancient teachings of yoga relevant to your modern life and busy mind!


Ché is just wonderful. She strikes the balance between listening and guiding and woo-woo and scientific perfectly! The weekly prompts were varied, fun and insightful. A perfect way to give yourself the time and space to delve deeper…


Ché – your love and passion for yoga has re-ignited mine… ten-fold. Thank you so much for your love and joyous presence.


I feel privileged to have had the time to spend a whole week with you, learning from you. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re changing the world one heart at a time with your beautiful positive vibe through yoga.


You have such a special gift and I truly believe that you’re changing people and the world wherever you go. Your positive energy is beautiful.


My heart is open and I work every day to keep it so. I am, and forever will be, eternally grateful for Che’s guidance, enthusiasm, care and attention because she really and truly has changed my life.


I got in touch with the creative child, one not afraid of failure when she sets out to explore her big ideas. I learned about connections between my body and mind, connections that–once tapped into–allowed me to understand myself a little bit better.


I love life at the moment. I am a little worried that I have so much fresh perspective that I almost irritate people with sharing, I try to hold back a little 🙂 But life in general is amazing when you have perspective


White by Claire R – Embracing motherhood

​It is white outside. Not the soft veil of mist, nor the rolling waves of fog. Just thick white clouds without relief of blue. It is as if the world has been packed away in cotton wool. From my bed all I can see is this vast nothing. It aches inside me, because I too have been packed away from life. My soul, my essence, my very self. A fresh new reality is settling into my bones, trickling through my veins, seeping from my flesh. My limbs are hollow and my heart stuffed with space. I have been washed away by my new role. Mama of two. Mother to a son. This reality smells soft and feels sweet, but it is also heavy and enveloping. The wide windows of my house wrap around my bed. Only three weeks post-surgery, post-birth, my child and I are nestled deep in our duvet cocoon spotted with sour milk. The large swaths of endless cloud reflect to me my blank-white soul.

When my daughter was born, I grieved for the girl I had been. She stepped into the past the moment my first child was pulled from my womb. Now, flat on my back, my son nuzzling at my breast, I am once more weighed down by rapid transformation. I was the full moon, fertile with potential. I deflated all at once, and lost blood and volume and organ mass and life. I am shot through with hormones but all I can feel is this weight. It is heavy and empty and feels a lot like sadness. But, despite its parallels, this time there is no mourning. I have become mother before. Mama, not maiden, is my name, and I answer readily. I no longer pine for my twenties, when I tore up mountainsides on my motorbike, traversed whole countries on a whim, climbed drainpipes to watch city lights sparkle from rooftops, and whiled away the nighttime hours in East Asian beer gardens. Now I move slower and look deeper. I have been invited to return to the magic place that is childhood, where a beetle can be a wonder, and a plastic airplane the greatest treasure. I befriend dinosaurs and talking rabbits, and am always stocked up on cake mix, balloons and colored candy. I have gained the eyes to see and the heart to feel how life layers upon itself, and stretches out in a delicate web of connections. I am on the adventure of a lifetime, and I need not step outside my home.

Peter Kai Gabriel has nonetheless taken a piece of my heart. My soul has been wrung out by his existence. In the muffled silence of the afternoon, small sounds reach us where we lie. Across the hills, a cow coughs. Just outside the door, a sakabula calls, his long tail hanging down in a ribbon. In the bathroom, water collected in the chimney drips slowly out. Peter coos quietly in his sleep. My thumb rests in the nest made by his curled palm. His legs rest lightly above my belly button (which is concave, dark, and slack). His breath is sweet and his helplessness complete. He owns me. In some way he always will. This little snuffling creature, who once fit below my heart, and now tucks beneath my chin, owns part of my time, my money, my home, my family – my life. And we’ve only just met. I have yet to find out who he is, and my soul is already tethered to his. This knowing has sunk in deep and whole. What before, at my first experience of postpartum healing, I took in in fragments, blurred by fatigue and naivety, has this time around rushed in a torrent through me, and left me whistling hollow. Tomorrow the sun will shine. I will bathe, get dressed, stretch on my yoga mat, and step out beneath a sky blue and arching. But here, now, I leak yellow-white milk stains onto white sheets, wipe spit-up off white newborn vests, bleed ruby droplets onto thick white pads, and stare and stare and stare at the white white sky, heavy and blank and here.

When I was just two weeks postpartum our new family of four climbed carefully into the car, and went to visit Colleen of the Midlands House of Healing. Tender and bleeding, I lay fully dressed on her table as she touched only my feet. It was not a time to fall apart. My life and my family was asking me to dig deep, and the reiki energy that Colleen channelled into my aura as she circled my body filled and strengthened me. It allowed me to confess my own weakness, and see the extent of healing that still lay ahead. It lit up the way, and made cowardice impossible. In all my vulnerability, steeped in the needs of those around me, I was stronger than I had ever been. There were no excuses, and no escape. Colleen’s treatment touched my core.That is the wisdom of reiki energy: it goes where it is needed, to do what must be done. It slides in deep, to a place beyond words, to soothe and heal secret wounds, and brings us in unique ways to what is universal. It wraps us in white, and draws us into color. It quiets the noise, and flushes vigor into silence. It shows us the truth, and gives us the courage to live up to its demands. 

To book a session with Colleen, contact her on 084 603 0604.

Empath: How to SAVE money, Tighten Your belts


For the last 15 months, I have been disciplining myself on every single level of my life, discerning the difference between I want vs I need. The line of discipline and compulsion is very thin, so I needed to dig deep. This year I mentored one of my clients to save for a Family trip to Thailand and she enjoyed the adventure so much, that she started saving for her UK adventure.

You cannot teach, what You cannot do for yourself.

So, I too, had to take out my discipline whip, to get me into shape physically for India, financially and emotionally for this journey.

As human beings, we collect stuff, we buy stuff, we consume, but once we switch on that awareness button within, we want to live a more sustainable life.

To start your journey and to shift focus into a more SAVING mode of life, lets begin.

  1. Do a budget : specify all of your expenses : Rent, WIFI, Cellular phone, debit orders, Insurance, etc, groceries, fuel, electricity.
  2. On a page : Write Debit and Credit and see where your money is going to.
  3. Time to be specific : Every rand counts, so check what you can do without, for example : Netflix is not a need. That extra chocolate from the café, while refuelling your car is NOT NEEDED. That quick snack from the deli, NO o o o o !
  4. Start cutting down to the basics of what you need. You need a home, you need food, you need water. If you are like me and love your snacks, I am allowed 1 slab of chocolate a week, with a handful of niknaks, that’s it. I am not missing out, but making my portions of snacks smaller.  WHY? Because every Rand counts, so I need to be disciplined for the greater good of my waist size and my need for adventure.
  5. Every income that comes in, give away 10% of what you receive, then save the same amount in a Flexi fixed deposit account, which means you can add to it and you earn interest on it, which means in 12 months, you would have earned R800, which you did not have.
  6. My most essential clothes are comfortable running shoes and underwear. The rest I source from 2nd hand shops, because I believe in Reusing and Recycling clothes, why? Because I choose to live sustainably.
  7. Grow your own food, it is wholesome organic and nutritious and also cuts down on your fresh food expenses. Go pick your own food and connect with Nature, it’s the best.
  8. Reduce the amount of times you visit a shop, shop only once a week, you will save on fuel and reduce your carbon footprint.
  9. Being disciplined is hard in the beginning, because you have to ask yourself, do I need it? Or is this a want? If you need it, you can buy it, but ensure your intention is good and just not another thing to buy, be strict.
  10. Write a shopping list, top up of groceries are allowed, so you save in the long run. If something is on sale, like toilet paper, buy It, it makes you feel toilet paper rich! Anything on sale – buy extra, because next week, it may cost you more. So shop smart.
  11. If you have debt – start working to reduce it by adding an extra bit on the payment side, to pay it off. There is nothing like a bond / a car payment to put added pressure on you.
  12. We all enjoy eating out, however, it is easy to go over the limit of what the budget is, so only eat out, if you received some extra cash from somewhere, or to celebrate a life event, make it special! Do not eat out every night, your wallet will be empty and it defeats the purpose of a treat.
  13. Once you become disciplined, it gets easier. Things that waste money : going out, drinking alcohol, coffee shop dates, movie nights, more snacks, this is just to show a few examples where you can tighten the belt on wasting your hard earned money.
  14. Everyone wants more money, we groan about it, moan about it, but if you want to save for an epic adventure, you need to plan and prepare for it, by enforcing these little tips into your life, you become hooked on saving and growing your money pocket, so you can travel, so you can put tyres on your car and have the brakes done, by paying cash for it. (CUT UP THE CREDIT CARD, it is money you don’t have!)
  15. Long term gratification : Saving money takes discipline, when you tighten your belt and cut out things, it does not have to be this hard dreary thing, it can be fun, why? Because think of the adventure, the one you are going to have and what amazing stories, you will share. The goal is long term gratification, the journey of saving, also means a shift from survival, to abundant living, really living in the moment of greatness, stepping into the UNKNOWN and knowing that you are living a amazing life of 6th sensory living, and not just 5th sensory.
  16. Shake off those “I cant” and start thinking about what you can do! The limits are endless, you just need to think out of the box, and begin to thrive and stop just surviving! And LIVE!
  17. Things that are free : Going for a walk. Read a book. Do Yoga. Watch a Movie. Write in your Journal. Listen to Music. Breathe.   Have sex.  Play monopoly.  Talk to your friends, face to face.  Shift to a SLOWER pace of Life, your Spirit will love you for it.






Empath : Cleansing Ritual = A new Beginning

 Before After


On the 6th August 2008, I returned from India, homeless, carless, and jobless. I tried going back into the corporate or job market and I hated it, after 2 months of having a job, I quit. We lived with Willems aunt in a tiny room, sharing space with family and grandkids visiting, after school.

I googled searching for massage courses to study, and searched far and wide. I found an International diploma with Healing hands, offering Swedish massage, Sport massage, Aromatherapy, Nutrition, Lymph drainage, Neuro lymph massage, anatomy and physiology, that is the one I needed to learn. The course was a 2 year long course, it was October 2008, already and I had not found my space yet, within myself. I signed up and paid for the course. Upon arrival of the course material, I was overwhelmed with the case studies, the course work books, I was perplexed at how I would study in a noisy house, filled with people and I was uncomfortable. I told myself, if this was my path, I need to pull out all of the power, skill, courage and work within myself, I needed to do this, to fulfill my path, even though, it was hard. I needed to complete this diploma in 3 months and by F*ck! I needed to move out, also.

Day 1, I woke up at 4am in the morning, I went for a walk in the dark (Bethlehem winter) and I did yoga, I studied from early in the morning until 12pm in the afternoon, pushing the barriers of my physical body and my mental composition. I completed 100 hours of massage for both modalities and kept at it.

By December 16th 2008, I completed my Diploma, scoring 76%, 98% to 100% for my different courses. I remember driving my scooter in the rain, finally holding my diploma in my hand, feeling fulfilled and knowing, I needed to rent a space, and move out. .

I switched off the engine of my scooter, ran to Willem and said, we need to find a little house to move to, lets go find one. I sent energy out to the Universe, asking for the special space for us, 4 roads off the main road, we found an old stable with a upstairs studio, one for Willem and one for me to open my practise in Bethlehem, January 2009.

We then bought a car and drove to Cape town to collect our cat Sebastian and some items, we left behind.

Every year ending, is an ending of a season, a closure of the old, opening to the NEW.

At each end of the year, we created a vision board, focused, prayed, visited a shaman, and sent energy.  For the last 10 years, this has been the path, it has been filled with tears, disappointment, heartaches, heartbreaks, failed expectations and then some, but here I am standing strong, being a better me for it.

Today, was a cleansing day, we started with putting clay onto our bodies, we drummed together, we wrote down all our anger and burnt the pages of emotional clearing. We showered and used sea water to wash away and disconnect from what no longer serves us.

It was such a good release, I feel new!

I then watched KILL BILL 1, it is my favourite movie, because I find the blood splatters amazing, especially the scene where she butchers everyone! I laughed so much, why, because it is a good way to release whatever emotions are left.

I then watched the Pursuit of Happiness, it always reminds me of perspective, of how we chase that one moment of happiness, we work hard, we do our best and sometimes, we fail, but we need to get back up and keep pushing, keep trying, keep pursuing, what we cannot see, but know it will be fulfilled in our hearts.

The last 10 years has not been easy, when you choose a path, where there is no path, no support, no security, no comfort,  you begin to realize who are the friends and who is your foe.

The one person, who always wiped my tears and who has always been there through thick and thin, is my dear Willem, he is the hard working man behind the scenes, he feeds me well, looks after me well, and his my pillar of strength. When his sick, I fall apart, because I rely on him so much, even if his just in the other room, his always there!   Next year will be our 20th year together, 20 years together, 10 years as a healer.

2018 is almost upon us, and I foresee great change, but I am no longer apprehensive about it, because I trust this path, I trust my ancestors, my Higher self, my guides to take me where I need to go.

To help those who need help.

To teach the receptive hearts.

To help those who want to heal.

To open the minds of the unknowing.

To share love, where there is none.

To guide.

To hold a hand.

To support, to hold up that chin.

To serve, as I always have.

To build a bridge for the footsteps of future babies, healers, and masters, who are yet to come.

For you, bless you and thank you, for your loyality, love and affection!

May 2018, be your year, of fulfilling your true self and becoming you! 1 January 2018, is day one, make it count.

Empath : True Spirit Ignited : Reiki Attunement no 51.

Every story has a beginning and an end. Our journey began in 2013, when I met Vanessa Viljoen for the first time, she had just gotten divorced, she was shattered, in debt and well, her life of a puzzle had fallen apart.   We started with reiki and journeyed to the Kahuna massage, which heals on so many different levels.

We entered the light, and proceeded into the darkness, to remove what no longer served her.

I saw Vanessa on and off for the last 5 years.

November 2016, we decided to work towards her Reiki Level 2 Attunement, so she could step into becoming a full time healer. She journeyed through many modalities of healing : reiki, massage, qi gong, ayewaska shaman ceremonies.

Her mom died just 3 weeks ago, and we were prepared for this new transition, a lifting of the old, embarking on a new journey, of wholeness and freedom.

For the entire 12 months, we journeyed deep into her inner child, healed aspects of the inner womb child, journeying through adolescent self to adult self.  Taking on the absolute belief systems about how we love or neglect our bodies, how we stay in the “male”driven side zone, to avoid the pain, to escape  it, but stepping into the female side, to heal and to become whole.

The last 5 years, I have seen Vanessa blossom into this amazing spirit.

Today, was a truly auspicious day for me, I have been meditating on her Attunement, visualizing, asking for higher guidance from the Masters and Ancestors, and when it was time to do it, it flowed like a river, into perfect timing and destiny.

She is definitely a natural healer, and a born Reiki practitioner, an empath, a warrior spirit to have embarked through the PAIN, into LOVE and wholeness.

We have embraced every challenge, every trial, every death, every aspect of life, and today, it held such magic.

After the attunement, she looked 10years lighter, like the burdens of normal life, was taken away, a new path has been set before her and a new journey begins.

Onwards and Upwards, in time for 2018!  Thank you Vanessa, for this wonderful experience!

Thank you to everyone reading! May your journey keep unfolding, as you stay in the unknown and the mystery of life. . . . . .   Kawabunga!



Empath : Adrenal fatigue : Heal with Reiki / Yoga / Gut Reset

To book a Reiki session to Reboot your body, your mind and Spirit.

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